Here is a picture of the horrible monster after it tried to roast my kitty's ass.



Please excuse my lack of photographic skills, I was a little unnerved at the time. My little Misha came to see what was up in the kitchen, what with the burnt butt smell and Snowball now crying in the bathroom. As soon as that horrid Furby saw my beautiful Misha, he boinged (yes, boinged) over to the bathroom, grabbed the toilet paper roll, and started winding paper around his yucky claws. He rolled back to the kitchen, knocking poor Miss Misha over, and proceeded to wrap the Charmin around my precious Misha's delicate neck, strangling my pet with my toilet paper. My Misha shreaked with horror and lost all the air in her lungs as the Furby squeezed. I swear the Furby had a grin on its beak.

My Misha was gone.............sob

Here is a recent picture of a poor, precious cow that was horridly "tipped" by a Furby. Her name was Clara, and even this nice officer of the law could not return her to her upright position after being pushed and pummeled by the hate monger Furby. If you own a large tractor with a front end loader, please contact me to help Clara return to her rightful position. Thank you


January 29, 1999:

I was quite upset by these well-known, publicized Furby attacks. They were shown in my hometown paper!!!! And still people don't believe:

The Furby Attrocities!

Furbies are causing people to hurt EACH OTHER!!!!! This is planned!!!!!

From my e-mail, to kvanabel, who wants to buy a Furby,DON'T!!!! Heed my warnings! If my story is not enough to curl your hair, either you can't read, or you have no hair. You say that you have two boys, but those kids will be mush when the Furby gets through with em.

An e-mail from Patrick Simmons says that his sister got a furby for Christmas. What a rotten way to celebrate our Lord and Savior's birthday -- by BUYING THE DEVIL!!!!!! He took the batteries out and closed it's eyes and mouth and left the room. When he came guessed it. EYES WIDE OPEN, MOUTH OPEN, ROCKING EVILLY BACK AND FORTH. Run, run, I tell you. Patrick, Run as though your life depended upon it my friend!!!!!!!

Well, I took a picture of my tent that I am residing in, just so that you can see the reality of the rough life I am having because of the Furby.

I must endure.....

Furby's selling stuff on E-Bay? Say it ain't so!

Go here to see an E-Bay ad placed by a Furby!!

Well......Back (again) to the story........

My Misha was cold and clammy on the kitchen floor as I held on to my heart, because I feared it would break from the pain of my losing her. All of a sudden, I heard a SPLASH!!!!!!!! I looked over at my tank of fish, and all I saw was this:

(Okay, i have to say it----) HOLY MACKEREL!!!!!!!!! What a face!!!!! This was Bud, the fish, looking at me as if he was very pissed off about something. Did I forget to feed him? Change his water? NO!!!! But another splash came, and that's when I saw it, the vicious barbed hook in the water behind Bud. Bud was trying to tell me something!!!!!!! BUT WHAT?????? And there I saw...... on the other end of that barbed hook..... up the silvery wire, down the fishing rod...... IT WAS THE FURBY!!!!!!!!!!!

This creepy toy was fishing for my friend Bud!!!!!! I loved Bud more than life itself. What was I to do????????

Time out for a very important public service announcement:


STOP IT I SAY!!!! Millions of kitties a year are forced in to the porn industry. Don't let your kitty be pulled in!!!!! Tell her about the hard working conditions, the tom cats with bad breath, the clawing and biting and......, well, you get the picture.

This comment was from "no name given." I wonder why???? He/she insists that I am scaring children all over the world with my Furby story, and that they are falling down to the ground, sobbing, and will require many years of therapy as a result of reading my truthful tale. Well, ..... no name......, (I really think this is Kathy Lee is disguise, the tone and viciousness of the note hint .... Kathy Lee, Kathy Lee.) Well, if you buy your child a Furby and their own little kitty is strangled by Charmin, and their fish is being stalked by the Furby Fisherman, they will not only need a therapist (as I do now, twice a day, every day of the week)(come to think of it, I saw a therapist that much before the Furby hehehehehehehe), but they will be living in a tent (like me), despising Charmin (as I do -- no offense to the Charmin people, I just loathe it because it was the instrument of death for my precious little Misha kitty), and not have many play dates over to the tent, because "Mommy tends to drool and ask the mailman for any spare rapid fire machine guns those nice postal workers always seem to have." So, Miss No-Name Kathy..... You may take my story to heart, or be living in a tent with a high budget for bibs!!!!!

One anonymous gentleman replied: "Nothing is more vicious than a wounded Furby....." and "A Furbastard (gasp!!!!!) kidnapped my hamsters for breeding stock!!!!!" OH MY GOD!! The thought of my Bud being used in some sort of mutant genetic reproductive program is beyond catastrophous!!!! (Is that a word?) And a Furby breeding with a hamster!!!!!! I'm shivering right now from that visual! Those little bundles of furry wonder, the hamster, should never be violated in that way. Can I suggest an arrest warrant for that horrid Furby that hijacked your snuggly, wuggly, fuzzy bears?

And........ You guessed it, back to the story.........

I was so frightened, I ran to the other end of the living room and let that Furby continue fishing for my lovely Bud, who was frantically swimming around the tank, trying to avoid the sharp prongs of that glinting, steel hook. I saw Bud starting to huff and puff from the effort. I knew that this might be the end of my friend, Bud.

I KNEW this was true!!!!! Proof right here!

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