Reasons Why I Think I'm Being Stalked By Martha Stewart!!!!!

1. I receive over 300 hang-up phone calls a day, but they don't really hang up, they say "I'm sorry Ma'am, I must have dialed an incorrect number. I am so sorry to have interrupted your beautiful day. Do you need any tips on gardening per chance?"!!!! (Frightening!!!)

2. My bunny was found bubbling in a big pot on the stove with a spring of ginger and a dash of salt, the table neatly set!!

My Bunny, Fester:

Fester "Festering" GASP!!!!!!!!

3. Someone attempted to hang my cats, but only succeeded in tying really lovely red and pink ribbons on the girls, blue and green on the boys!!

This is a picture of one of the cats after Martha got through with her. Boy, was she ticked and UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!!!

4. My house was toilet-papered, but it was a lovely pastel with a rather pleasant scent. A new bowl cleaner brush was provided, and new fabric for my shower curtain!!!

5. I threw out my trash, complete with alot of broken egg shells, and in the morning, I found this on back steps:

6. Someone tried to explode my tires, but the result was alot of fancy little wrapped spikes in my tires with pretty ribbon and gossamer.

7. Someone broke in to my house and reordered all my cookie boxes in alphabetical order.

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